Left, Right; Right Right Left, I swipe. Dude, Lou, you just gotta put yourself out there. Right, Right – Oh, yikes, I think – And I swipe Left Left Left. Yeah man, you’ll find a girl if you look for one. Left, Left, Right, Right… Back and forth Across that Glowing Glass Screen. But you gottaContinue reading “Dating”


“I want to buy a boat.” She looks at me, head cocked to the side, and says, “with what money?” I stop, shrug my shoulders, then put on as confident a face as I can manage: “I have some savings.” And I say this, even though I know that she knows that I have noContinue reading “Birthday”


I smoked a cigarette today, While I drove past the hospital. And I thought about how awful It would be to get lung cancer, Or throat cancer, Or to have a heart attack… I looked down at my cigarette… And when I looked back up, I saw the back of a semi, Right as itContinue reading “Cancer”

The Fish (What A Life)

The fish is always swimming in Circles, Circles, Circles. Around and Around and Around again. And not really doing much of anything else. Well, Besides maybe poking his face Against the glass, Or shitting into The same water that he breathes. But that’s basically it, It seems. And as I sit here And I watchContinue reading “The Fish (What A Life)”


I got really high Last night, And I stayed up Reading Bukowski And listening to Cash. Although, I don’t know anyone else Who stayed up Reading Bukowski Or listening to Cash – Not when everyone Else that I know Spends every hour In the glow of their phone, Tweeting and Snapping and Watching porn. ButContinue reading “Reading”

The Cat

The cat always has to be Here, Or there, Or somewhere Near. Just standing, Or sitting, Or laying down, Halfway-twisted on her back So that she can Lick her cat pussy; Doing anything Just as long as she’s Near. So it’s not my fault If she’s in my room, Or on my bed, Or myContinue reading “The Cat”


I have too much dignity To use Tinder, Or Bumble, Or any other hookup site. I’m not desperate. I don’t need a meaningless fuck, Or an awkward date, Just to feel liked. I’m better than that – more dignified than that… So I open Pornhub, And I jerk the fuck out of my dick.