Tag: Humor

• Fortune

  The fortune cookie in my bag of Chinese food says that something life changing is about to happen to me, but it doesn’t say if that something will be good or bad, so now I’m worried that someone I know is going to die or some shit, and I don’t want to finish my food…

  lou rasmus

  May 21, 2018

  Poems

  #creative-writing, #fiction, #Joke, #poem, #poetry, #Writer, Humor

• Happy

  Pornstars always look so happy when they’re fucking. They look so happy that it makes me happy too. And I know that people don’t think much of pornstars. And it’s too bad that they’re all sex addicts. But I just can’t feel bad for someone who can find that much joy in anything. I don’t…

  lou rasmus

  January 24, 2018

  Poems

  #Masturbation, #poem, #poetry, #Porn, #Sex, #Writer, addiction, happiness, Humor

• Happiness

  I worked on a Construction site For a couple of Weeks last summer. I started at 7 am, I got lunch at noon, And I left at 5. Everyday. My job was to lay base. That’s the trim along The bottom of the wall. I had to lay that shit All fucking day long. Everyday.…

  lou rasmus

  December 1, 2017

  Poems

  #life, #Millenial, #poem, #poetry, #work, #Writer, Humor

• Opinions

  I don’t think That people Should share Their opinions. I just don’t Think that They matter. But hey, that’s Just my opinion.

  lou rasmus

  October 27, 2017

  Poems

  #free-verse, #Joke, #life, #opinion, #poem, #poetry, Humor

• Morning Commute

  I like to jerk off While I drive to work, Because it helps me Get rid of all of my nerves, Although it sucks When I cum on my shirt, Or when I swerve Into the next lane, Because people always Give me shitty looks For jerking off Behind the wheel, Like I’m some perv,…

  lou rasmus

  October 6, 2017

  Poems

  #Erotica, #Masturbation, #poem, #poet, #poetry, #work, #Writer, Humor

• Couch

  There was an ugly little couch with a flowery-print sitting on the side of the road earlier. I saw it on my way to the grocery store. It was so ugly and sad, with its flowery print worn away from all of the sweaty backs that had rubbed against it, and with its cushions depressed down…

  lou rasmus

  October 1, 2017

  Short Stories

  #Flash-Fiction, #High, #life, #observation, #ShortStory, #Stoner, #Thoughts, #Writer, Humor

• Hickey

  I woke up with a hickey on my neck. A big, ugly, purple one. Right there, on fucking display, between my Adam’s apple and the underside of my jaw.  I woke up with a hickey on my neck, but I didn’t wake up next to anyone. Just me, with the sheets thrown every which way…

  lou rasmus

  September 27, 2017

  Short Stories

  #Flash-Fiction, #Hickey, #life, #observation, #ShortStory, #Writer, Humor

• Parenthood

  Yesterday was my cat’s First birthday, So I went to the store To get her a toy, And to get her a treat. I thought she’d like that. But when I came home I found her licking her pussy And drinking gin… They really do grow up so fast.

  lou rasmus

  September 26, 2017

  Poems

  #Cat, #Joke, #poem, #poetry, #Writer, Humor

• Similes

  Writing… Sometimes it’s hard, And you have to force it out, Like a stream of piss in the morning, After a night of Sex. But sometimes it’s easy, And it happens on accident, Like a wet fart in the morning, After a night of Diarrhea. Then sometimes it just happens, And it’s not too hard…

  lou rasmus

  September 25, 2017

  Poems

  #life, #poem, #poetry, #Sex, #Similies, #Stoner, #Writer, #Writing, Humor

• Routine Lunch

  That’s all that it said, On the blank page Of the notebook That I keep next to My bed: “Routine Lunch.” That’s all that it said, On the paper I use To write down the Drunk thoughts that I have. “Routine Lunch.” I say in my head, Over and Over and Over again. “Routine Lunch.”…

  lou rasmus

  September 22, 2017

  Poems

  #Drunk, #High, #life, #Millenial, #observation, #poem, #poet, #Stoner, #Thoughts, #Write, #Writer, Humor