Instagram Love

I fell asleep with my clothes on, woke up, undressed, pissed, and then checked my phone to see if I had any messages. I did. All from her. She broke up with me in a text. Again. Because she was mad that I liked that one girl’s picture on Instagram. She told me to unfollowContinue reading “Instagram Love”


Left, Right; Right Right Left, I swipe. Dude, Lou, you just gotta put yourself out there. Right, Right – Oh, yikes, I think – And I swipe Left Left Left. Yeah man, you’ll find a girl if you look for one. Left, Left, Right, Right… Back and forth Across that Glowing Glass Screen. But you gottaContinue reading “Dating”


I have too much dignity To use Tinder, Or Bumble, Or any other hookup site. I’m not desperate. I don’t need a meaningless fuck, Or an awkward date, Just to feel liked. I’m better than that – more dignified than that… So I open Pornhub, And I jerk the fuck out of my dick.