To Do List

Sitting on the balcony of my second floor apartment building, I drag my cigarette and listen to the footsteps of people walking by on the sidewalk beneath me.

Tat, tat, tat. Tat, tat, tat.

It sounds like it’s two people but I don’t care enough to look and see for sure. I just listen to the tat-tat-tatting until I can’t hear it anymore. Then it gets quiet for a second. A second more.

And then a car alarm starts wailing in the parking lot.

WHEEE-UR, WHEEE-UR, WHEER-UR! It goes on for a while. WHEEE-UR and WHEEE-UR and WHEER-UR’ing.

I finish my cig and smush the butt of it into the sole of my shoe. Makes it smell like stale smoke and burnt rubber. Then I remember that I brought a beer out with me and I find it on the ground next to my feet. I pick it up and take a pull. It’s already kind of warm but I keep pulling on it anyway. Fuck it.


Tat, tat, tat. Tat, tat, tat.

I think about going inside but I’m not sure what I would go in there for. I came out here because I was bored in there. Only now I’m bored out here, too. Bored everywhere. Or I’m just having a hard time doing nothing. I’ve always had a hard time with that. Always felt like there was something that had to be done, even though I know that I could do nothing forever and it wouldn’t make a damn difference.

I take another sip from my drink and I take my bowl out of my pocket. It gets quiet again, and this time it lasts for more than a few seconds. Maybe a few minutes. And that’s ok. It’s all ok. There’s nothing that I have to do.

DEAD RED FISH – debut novel now on Amazon

24 responses to “To Do List”

  1. “even though I know that I could do nothing forever and it wouldn’t make a damn difference.” You got that right homie. Most of what we do is to alleviate boredom…it doesn’t make a damn difference, but we do it anyway.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: