Thoughts During Writer’s Block, pt. 1

I want to take a shower and start over. Not with this, but in general. I’d like to go back to school and figure out what my life should look like – what it could look like – if I wasn’t so worried about writing all this bullshit. I could probably get a good job if I wanted to. Something safe that pays the bills and supports my girlfriend. Something that may support a child one day. I wonder where I would be if I gave all of this up and started again. I wonder if I’d be happier with myself. Maybe I should give it a try.

Published by lou rasmus

Lou Rasmus is an independent author from Chicago, IL. His works are largely focused on exploring the meaning of life – or lack thereof – while the themes of love, relationships, and self-loathing are also central to many of his stories. His upcoming novel, Primrose Isle, will be his third self-published title. Grapefruit Juice, a collection of bitter poems and short stories, and DEAD RED FISH, his semi-autobiographical debut novel about a young man coming to age on a road trip with his childhood friends, are also available on Amazon.

70 thoughts on “Thoughts During Writer’s Block, pt. 1

      1. not to mention that the hotel California closed down after one of the biggest drugs related massacres,lol. Lou,you are young don’t waste much time doubting yourself it is all time you could use in better way but remember no pain no gain….unfortunately

        Liked by 1 person

      1. Just skip to the part where he buys a new desk and spends “six years sitting behind it drunk and stoned out of my mind…not even remembering writing Cujo” That will grab your interest.

        Liked by 2 people

  1. Lou. Let’s clear some things up.

    You are already an excellent writer.

    School is not the most creative place to hang out.

    Why do you believe that you are responsible to support your girlfriend?

    Is there some work you WANT to do?

    There are no safe jobs.

    And to be happy is an inside job which needs tending continually.

    Your appointment is up with Dr. Sock. Just put the payment of unmarked Franklin’s in a brown unmarked lunch bag and place it in our agreed upon park bench.

    See you at your next appointment, Monday.

    And remember, “You Are The Force” so keep your light saber dry!

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Lou, you are an artist, a true artist, because you dig deep and uncover all the messy bits of your truth. Unfortunately, I think the self doubt comes with the territory, I have felt it so often in my life and still do and I think always will. I am drowning in it this week. But, who the fuck am I? I am not wisdom or an expert. I do know that you are a writer and a good one. I believe good writing begins with the truth and school can’t give you your truth. Someone can be given all of the tools, but if they don’t have the heart, their art will never really be any good.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. damn. that was very nice to hear. thank you … i just think about school because i never really gave it a chance, and i wonder if i should have. but i do think you’re right. it has to come from some place real. and the self doubt is real, as you know. so that’s where i am right now.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I didn’t really give school a chance either, and there are times I think that I will never be a good writer, or a real writer, without the degree, but then I remind myself of what I just told you…..and I do believe it. If self doubt is where you are right now, be there and write about it, just like you did in your post. You are the real deal Lou!

        Like

  3. Redo’s are always a healthy and adventurous option. Reach you potential buddy. The mere fact that you can see something missing tells me you have more to offer this beautiful woman of yours.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Travel. Go somewhere you have never been. Do that at least once a year and your perspective will change for the better. A very humble piece of advice from the heart. Kenza.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Nothin wrong with trying something new if you don’t like where you’re at in life. But there’s also nothing wrong with taking another stab at something you’ve been doubting.

    Like

  6. I wish I could back with what I know now. I wish for the opposite. I’d like to bail on my corporate job and go back to be a starving artist, although stressful, those were some of the best years of my life. Now rethinking that… it was exhausting lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. i guess they both come with good and bad. like most things. but id like to have the steady job and the chance to pursue the art in my free time, rather than no hope of a good job at all

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Lou, my man. Why so negative? Take comfort in the knowledge that even after you get that job behind the mahogany desk with the Ferrari parked downstairs and after your girlfriend (who has mysteriously become your wife) has been showered with diamonds and your girlfriends (who have not become your wife, but have not completely given up on the idea) have showered you with compliments and blow jobs ….. it will all be just the same. Even after your kids are enrolled at the very best universities but really spend most of their lives skiing in France or sailing on the Mediterranean ….. it will all feel just the same. And if you keep blogging, writing, painting and imagining then that will feel just the same too. No matter what, you’ll feel, at the end of it all, that you have made the wrong decision somewhere. You will feel like a failure.
    Because if you ever live up to your own expectations or ever achieve your lofty goals your next step will be into the abyss. We are all doomed to failure.
    Try to be a beautiful failure.
    And take comfort in that.

    Liked by 3 people

  8. It seems that you can’t not write. That’s the only reason to do it. Pay attention to the now-exactly what’s in front of you. Fuck ten minutes ago or a year down the road. Do what you need to do NOW. The rest follows from that.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. It’s never ever too late to change directions. You can do it at any point. Time affords us exactly that, time. If you want to try something else do it. I love my experience with higher education. I’m not a professional writer but I still do it all the time, while I also go to school and work etc.
    We are always evaluating life though, keep that in mind. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m not kidding, every time I bought “pipas” or “pipes” as my computer translater says…..
        Point being here in Spain you buy half of a kilo, and they are so nice to make you look at a UNIFE ad, wich comes with a black kid there, which I calaed him “Maccoko” so I invest in food helpling the poor

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: