LOU RASMUS

I fell asleep with my clothes on, woke up, undressed, pissed, and then checked my phone to see if I had any messages.

I did.

All from her.

She broke up with me in a text. Again. Because she was mad that I liked that one girl’s picture on Instagram. She told me to unfollow that girl but I didn’t. The girl has a great ass. I like her pictures. Nothing wrong with looking.

“It’s the principle,” she said in one of the messages. “I told you to unfollow her, but you didn’t. And then you liked one of her pictures too.”

“v sorryyuyyy babbe,” my text back said. I don’t remember sending that, but my phone says that I did. At 3:46 in the morning. I thought I passed out at midnight.

“Well have fun jerking off to her pictures,” she said back. “YOU LONELY BASTARD!” That was her last text.

I put my phone down and showered and brushed my teeth. Then I called her to see if she really wanted to break up over this. She said that she did.

“Ok,” I said, and I hung up. I opened Instagram. And then I DM’ed the girl from the picture I liked. I told her that she had a nice ass. She said thanks. And then I asked her if she would like to go out sometime.

She said yes.