Instagram Love

I fell asleep with my clothes on, woke up, undressed, pissed, and then checked my phone to see if I had any messages.

I did.

All from her.

She broke up with me in a text. Again. Because she was mad that I liked that one girl’s picture on Instagram. She told me to unfollow that girl but I didn’t. The girl has a great ass. I like her pictures. Nothing wrong with looking.

“It’s the principle,” she said in one of the messages. “I told you to unfollow her, but you didn’t. And then you liked one of her pictures too.”

“v sorryyuyyy babbe,” my text back said. I don’t remember sending that, but my phone says that I did. At 3:46 in the morning. I thought I passed out at midnight.

“Well have fun jerking off to her pictures,” she said back. “YOU LONELY BASTARD!” That was her last text.

I put my phone down and showered and brushed my teeth. Then I called her to see if she really wanted to break up over this. She said that she did.

“Ok,” I said, and I hung up. I opened Instagram. And then I DM’ed the girl from the picture I liked. I told her that she had a nice ass. She said thanks. And then I asked her if she would like to go out sometime.

She said yes.

55 responses to “Instagram Love”

  1. Poetic justice…somehow….

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sorry ROFLMAO! Love it.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. You’re modern-day Bukowski, Lou.

        Liked by 2 people

        1. those are very kind words

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Do you happen to like E. E. Cummings?

            Liked by 1 person

            1. not that familiar really

              Liked by 1 person

              1. No, honestly? He’s good. Check him out. I was just wondering if you shared the same hatred towards punctuation and capitalization or you’re just being lazy. The latter one, then.

                Like

  3. This is hysterical. Love it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. happy to liked it. and thank you

      Like

  4. Whose side am i on? πŸ˜₯ life is unfair, i suppose. Here is to happiness for all. πŸ˜₯

    Liked by 1 person

    1. yes it is. cheers to that

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Unfair demands, human nature,
    yadda, yadda, yadda.
    Hope she turns out to be more than just a nice ass.

    Excellent piece. of writing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. we’ll see.. and thank you

      Like

  6. lou, great writing.

    As long as one stays in fantasy-land relationships are what they are …….
    As soon as that relationship becomes “real”, that is when the fan hits the shit!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. right on. exactly. thanks for reading

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Now you are talking buddy😎

    Like

  8. Congratulations πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  9. It certainly made me smile. So many stories one hears like this in coffee shops and mall benches. Especially when you’re a people eavesdropper and observer like I am.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. happy you liked it. it’s one of those stories for sure

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I found this post disturbing, hilarious, relatable and enjoyable! Well done! πŸ˜€ I enjoyed it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. haha thanks. that’s basically what i was going for

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s crazy haha, you made me feel like : Oh My God, his girlfriend is so jealous, it’s hilarious, and wow he doesn’t really care, and wow she’s actually breaking up with him, and what the ****, he just asked the other lady out hahaaha

        Liked by 1 person

        1. hahaha life is crazy

          Liked by 1 person

  11. lmao love this! πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  12. ahhh life at it’s electronic best. we make due with what we have ,then move on when it blows up.life is like fish, full of nice asses,fish asses waiting to be liked and groped like a grouper fish;except if i were a fish i wouldn’t bang a grouper fish.something with bright colors will do just fine lol.good write Lou.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. exactly. i think. and thanks, but your comment may be better than this piece haha

      Liked by 1 person

  13. And the journey has begun…to release what no longer works for you. Time to look deeper…

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Your ‘inner self’ didn’t get you on here to sell insurance, that’s for sure πŸ˜€
        May your words find your destination πŸ˜€

        Liked by 1 person

        1. haha i don’t know, i was just thinking the insurance route could be a refreshing twist to these poems and shit. so we’ll see. … and thank you, Mark

          Liked by 1 person

  14. Love this and I’m ashamed to say I’ve been that koo koo crazy chick way too often when I was a newbie on social media. Such a mind-fuck. I was also you, many times. Drives one nuts having to deal with that kind of childish chit. Yet, it is a fascinating study of human nature & relationships. Ooops, I’m making my own head spin 😜. Great post & I look forward to reading more 🌺

    Liked by 1 person

    1. ya i try to not think about it too much. wrote this and then buried it … and thank you

      Liked by 1 person

  15. 😭😭😭🀭

    Liked by 1 person

  16. That’s just hilarious

    Liked by 1 person

    1. haha im glad you liked it

      Liked by 1 person

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