LOU RASMUS

When I was
A kid I spent
A lot of time
Talking to
Hookers that
I met on the
Internet.
I’d find an
Ad for an
Escort online,
And then call
The girl from my
Parents’ phone
After they went
To bed.
I’d give them
A different name,
Like Ted,
Or Bill,
Or Larry,
Then I’d ask
Them “how much,”
Or I’d have them
Tell me what
They were wearing.
They didn’t
Like that.
They just wanted
To fuck.
So when I tried
To keep talking
They would usually
Just hang up.
But I was a kid,
And I knew I
Couldn’t afford
A hooker anyway.
It was just fun
For me to talk.
Then,
Eventually,
I got a girlfriend
And I stopped calling
The hookers.
I had my own
Dirty slut.
And now, looking
Back on it –
Now that we’ve
Both grown up –
It makes a lot
Of sense that
That girl ended
Up becoming a
Stripper.