I like to jerk off
While I drive to work,
Because it helps me
Get rid of all of my nerves,
Although it sucks
When I cum on my shirt,
Or when I swerve
Into the next lane,
Because people always
Give me shitty looks
For jerking off
Behind the wheel,
Like I’m some perv,
Or something.
Like this:
Like Loading...
Published by lou rasmus
Lou Rasmus is an independent author from Chicago, IL. His works are largely focused on exploring the meaning of life – or lack thereof – while the themes of love, relationships, and self-loathing are also central to many of his stories.
His upcoming novel, Primrose Isle, will be his third self-published title. Grapefruit Juice, a collection of bitter poems and short stories, and DEAD RED FISH, his semi-autobiographical debut novel about a young man coming to age on a road trip with his childhood friends, are also available on Amazon.
View more posts
such bad luck lmao…
LikeLiked by 1 person
well I have seen people doing this behind the wheel plenty of times – and laughed to read your poem about it – hah
LikeLiked by 1 person
haha thanks
LikeLiked by 1 person
The other day
I saw some guy pull up
In front of my house
With his pants down
And cock out
So you’re not the only perv around
*cheers to good times in the car hahaha
LikeLiked by 1 person
wow. what an experience haha
LikeLiked by 1 person
Unholy crap Lou, you do? Hehehe, this is funny in a scary, freaky kind of way.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lou, Lou, Lou. I pray you have: 1) good insurance against damage to you, your vehicle and others; 2)good protection – I mean with so many moving targets nearby you never know who will get struck with a little Lou; 3) good eyesight – to spot the cops before they declare you an ‘active shooter’ and CAP you for drive-by shooting; 4) good God’s help to find (safer) hands-free ways of relieving your anxiety – like an ejaculatory prayer; that’s a thing eh… https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ejaculatory_prayer
LikeLiked by 1 person
haha i appreciate the advice M.G., but im not sure if i will be taking up any ejaculatory prayers anytime soon. not sure if God is really my style.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s ok. To each his own. Who knows, you just may be God’s style. I hope not, but in case you get pulled over for jerk driving…who u gonna call?
LikeLiked by 1 person
the cumbusters, absolutely.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hahahahahaha fucking hilarious.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha. Haha. This round to Lou.
LikeLiked by 1 person