Morning Commute

I like to jerk off
While I drive to work,
Because it helps me
Get rid of all of my nerves,
Although it sucks
When I cum on my shirt,
Or when I swerve
Into the next lane,
Because people always
Give me shitty looks
For jerking off
Behind the wheel,
Like I’m some perv,
Or something.

Published by lou rasmus

Lou Rasmus is an independent author from Chicago, IL. His works are largely focused on exploring the meaning of life – or lack thereof – while the themes of love, relationships, and self-loathing are also central to many of his stories. His upcoming novel, Primrose Isle, will be his third self-published title. Grapefruit Juice, a collection of bitter poems and short stories, and DEAD RED FISH, his semi-autobiographical debut novel about a young man coming to age on a road trip with his childhood friends, are also available on Amazon.

12 thoughts on “Morning Commute

  1. The other day
    I saw some guy pull up
    In front of my house
    With his pants down
    And cock out
    So you’re not the only perv around

    *cheers to good times in the car hahaha

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Lou, Lou, Lou. I pray you have: 1) good insurance against damage to you, your vehicle and others; 2)good protection – I mean with so many moving targets nearby you never know who will get struck with a little Lou; 3) good eyesight – to spot the cops before they declare you an ‘active shooter’ and CAP you for drive-by shooting; 4) good God’s help to find (safer) hands-free ways of relieving your anxiety – like an ejaculatory prayer; that’s a thing eh…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. haha i appreciate the advice M.G., but im not sure if i will be taking up any ejaculatory prayers anytime soon. not sure if God is really my style.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s ok. To each his own. Who knows, you just may be God’s style. I hope not, but in case you get pulled over for jerk driving…who u gonna call?

        Liked by 1 person

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